January 13th

People bitch. That's a fact of life. Even your best friend will, on occasion, turn around and start saying catty things about you. I think it's fair to say that, by the time one hits 30, one realizes that most individuals never shuck habits acquired in adolescence. Why should we? Ninety percent of the time, gossip is harmless and even fun. 

Obviously, I just had one of those 'ten percent' moments.

I must wonder at the motives - realized or otherwise - of a person who says catty comments about me to a friend of mine. Did s/he think that I wouldn't hear about it? Maybe they didn't. Silly them. Friends talk to friends, and even pissy remarks made to strangers can have a way of haunting people.

But, despite the fact of this ongoing behavior, I'm not fussed. I think the matter is rooted in jealousy - my friend being jealous of me, that is. I think my friend's jealousy is unfounded and, in fact, slightly ludicrous. With luck s/he will realize this, themselves, eventually and let it go. Until then, I shall do my best to ignore and overlook any future incidents. Any other course of action will only prolong and exacerbate unpleasantness. I'm mildly annoyed, but nothing worth confronting the friend over. In a month, it won't matter. In fact, I'll doubt I'll remember it, which should render any righteously outraged e-mail from that friend - sent after this entry goes online - amusingly confusing...

Of course, the fact that I think the jealousy is a) rooted in sex and b) entirely unjustified only makes matters funnier, in that gut-wrenching ironic way. Sex causes half the world's problems, it seems, even when we're all getting plenty of it. 

Thank circumstance for the Tao De Ching, else I would have gone insane months ago.


I have applied for a job with a local fiction-industry magazine. It's stupid, I know, but my hopes are up. They need an office-monkey - which I can do - and the idea of getting involved with any media company is quite exciting. Time magazine, they ain't, but I like to think that I would be far happier with these dudes than I would be at some bond-issue company or whatever...


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