September 1st

                Gack, Dave can't win for losing... My roommate, three days after starting a new job - 87 days before his health insurance kicks in - has been hit with a badly burst blood vessel behind his right eye. It might be a detached retina - he won't know until he gets some ultrasound-thingummy test done on Tuesday. Either way, it means surgery. Ouch.
                For once, the money thing won't be a problem. Apparently there is a charity that helped Dave last time he had to get his vision restored. Apparently this burst-blood-vessel thing is a frequent problem for diabetics. Sigh. Still, this group helped him last time, so he's going to be calling them today to find out if they can help again. Well, Alex will be calling. Dave isn't seeing much of anything right now, as he's severely short-sighted in his left eye, so his vision is at about twenty percent... That was the 'good' news of last night. The ophthalmologist that Dave met told him that whoever declared Dave's left eye unsalvageable was a quack. All he needs for that eye is a good strong pair of glasses - well, a monocle, actually. Wouldn't Dave look cute with a monocle?
                Aw, maybe I shouldn't joke, but there's not much else that can be done right now...
                That's not to say I didn't grumble a bit. Apparently, Dave has been 'economizing' which might be a factor in his blood pressure/blood sugar getting out of control. I can understand why he was reluctant to ask us to provide the blood-sugar testing thingummies he needs (there's a class-action lawsuit that needs to happen - chronic health care costs are stupendous) because it would have cost nearly $100/month to cover but, well, compared to having to go through eye surgery... It's like the Y2K bug - spend a lot of money, and apparently nothing happened. But imagine what might have happened if no-one had taken any precautions against it, hm? It's that whole 'ounce of prevention' thing.

                Gaming Musings
                So, tonight's game isn't going to happen. It's a little tough when the GM can't read his notes... But we're going to get together to help Jen and James roll up their character stats and have some fun with 'random things' tables from some other game system. I was playing around with them the other night and it helped me create a couple of defining incidents for Violet's past. Although I'm not too keen on the coming-back-from-the-dead table that I found in the book...
                Out of the mouths of babes: "Oh, that 20 point Mystery Disadvantage?" quipped James, "Violet only thought Holmes was her father. Actually, it's Moriarty.". Man, oh man, I really hope Dave doesn't hear that...

      ***

      September 2nd

                Dave is doing a lot better today, in case you were wondering. His vision cleared up a bit overnight - which indicates that it was a burst blood vessel, not a detached retina. He can see the TV at this point, and read with some effort, so at least I don't have to worry about him going mad with boredom in the meantime...

                Otherwise, life continues apace. Alex and I spent the morning being nice to each other, rather than cleaning out the box room as we had told ourselves all week we were going to. Overall, I think us having some snuggle-time was far more important. Later tonight it's Magritte, movies and Indian food with my dad - since I had to cancel on him on Thursday night.

                Perhaps I should relegate this to the Gaming Musings section, but it's not entirely apt. I finally wrote something last night! Okay, okay, I write this journal almost every day, what's the big deal, right? Well, I've not been feeling inclined to write any fiction - usually my favoritest hobby - for a while. I haven't kept close track, but it's been at least two months, which is a heckuva dry spell for me. I was getting pretty frustrated and angry at my lack of inclination. It probably didn't help that I told myself I was going to limit my gaming-writing, hoping to divert what few drabs of creativity I have left towards something more 'serious'.
                So much for that idea. For the past few days, I had been kicking around an idea for Violet - a record of an encounter between her and Dr. John Watson, as written from Watson's point of view. Frankly, I had considered it and was on the verge of pushing it aside. "What's the point?" I thought, "Even if I can finish it, it'll just suck, so why bother?" I've not been feeling real confident of my writing abilities lately, y'see...
                But it seems that the good doctor really wanted to have his say, so I sat down before our get-together with Jennifer and James last night, and figured I would bash out a few words... Five pages later, Watson was just hitting his stride, darn him. I forgot what a verbose little devil he could be at times - but, yippee! I had written something. I intend to put the final polish on it over the weekend, so it'll no doubt be posted within a few days - as if you're panting with anticipation to see what I'm churning out for characters you know nothing about.
                Still, I'm dead chuffed. I just hope I don't have to wait two more months for my next burst of inspiration. I think I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that gaming-writing is what I enjoy, so I might as well stick with it. I'm never going to write the Great American Novel (or screenplay, for that matter) - although that was never my aim. I just wanted to write something better than selfish little character pieces. Oh well...

                Gaming Musings
                So, as I mentioned, Jennifer and James came over last night and went through a massive Table of Tables type character prelude for Dave's Pulp game. Dave has some book full of tables of events that shape every step of a character's life so that - if a player is feeling lazy, or short on ideas - they can craft any or all aspects of their character's life by rolling some dice.
                I didn't participate much, myself, having already determined most of Violet's history - and those random tables could have really messed it up - even if the players did have veto-rights on anything that happened (unless Dave overrode it). Still, it was a hoot to watch Jennifer and James go through the process. By the end of it, James' half-formed idea of a flying-ace turned hunter-supreme had been a prince of some small African nation, rather forcefully deposed by the natives that were a little disgruntled to discover his father wasn't a god as claimed, had joined the RAF for WWI, watched his squadron get butchered, etc, etc...
                Jennifer, meanwhile, was entangled in a bitter rivalry with her twin sister, who pulled a "Man In The Iron Mask" bit of devilment. Jenn's character got her revenge, in the end - at least, she thinks her awful sister is dead and, in the meantime, picked up a million dollars selling some mine of unusual metal that she stumbled across while fleeing from pissed-off Zapata rebels across the Texan wastes...
                As I say, all this would have madly screwed up Violet's history. I actually jumped in on a couple of random tables, only to roll up aspects that made absolute sense for her - wanderlust (entailing her studies in Europe while obtaining her MD) and a taste for morphia and cocaine. Violet takes after her father more than she expected, it seems...

                Following an ongoing conversation with a player who's opinions I respect - mostly because he can make a point without whining or being offensive - the GMs of Aragon are going to be stomping on the gas for the plots. We've shortened our intended story arc by two months, which means I've got two weeks to cram in ten weeks of downtime events... Bodies are going to start hitting the sidewalk like September leaves... If that doesn't alert the players to what's going on, I don't know what will...
                Amongst other matters, it means I will be wrapping up playing Prince Carmine a lot sooner than I anticipated. I can't say I'm going to miss her. It seems that while I tried to present a disaffected Prince who has relinquished too much power to her underlings, the courtiers have seen a stone-cold bitch who rules her Dukes with an iron fist. (Hm, almost typed 'Iron Fish' there, that would have been confusing...). And, frankly, I just don't really like Carmine. She's not a very nice person and, while I've played not-nice characters before, Carmine is the way she is in order to facilitate the game, not because I wanted to play her that way. So I don't really have much in the way of personal investment put into her... Ah well, it just means I won't pout when she leaves the chronicle...

      ***

      September 3rd

                Whee! Alex and I just got back from a lovely afternoon's gadding about with Kevin and Colette. We flew up to Napa for lunch. It was an unbelievably short trip for one who is used to wine-country necessitating a car-trip just long enough to induce nausea. Then we gadded about over the bay for an hour or so, taking pictures of the Golden Gate bridge and downtown SF. I've got to get a polarizing filter for my camera although, as Colette pointed out, a lot of picture haze is attributable to the plane's perspex windows. I got a couple of nice shots of the Golden Gate, but Colette was getting frustrated because the plane had to go too fast for her to set up a shot with the film she was using. Apparently she and Kevin are going to go up in the smaller, slower plane tomorrow...
                An odd thing throughout our jaunt over the bay, proper, was that there was an amazing amount of air-traffic - three international airports and dozens of smaller fields will do that to an airspace - but hardly any of it was seen. Certainly, there were lots of other smaller planes about - Kevin was constantly being advised of small planes in the vicinity, and Alex had a grand time playing plane-spotter - but most of the traffic I noticed was for the 'heavy' planes - big commercial jets and the like. I think the biggest thing we actually spotted was the Goodyear blimp heading over to Oakland.
                The second part of the tour was flying over the delta to take pictures of the refineries, Antioch and Pittsburg for use in Aragon and then it was my turn to be frustrated - half at my camera and half at the same factors that had annoyed Colette. Still, we got some interesting photos of the area and Alex believes he can make something other it. Kevin has offered to take one of us in his smaller plane - it's a two-seater - but I think that might require more guts than I have. Maybe Alex will go...
                I only think it's because I was distracted taking pictures that I didn't get awfully nervous as it was. The recently departed (or was it arrived?) cold front, plus our low altitude (about 2500 feet) made for lots of bumps and, by the time we got back on the ground, my stomach was definitely protesting. We were in the air for about three hours, all told, and it was a hoot! San Francisco is extremely pretty from the air. Heck, Alcatraz Island is very pretty - when you're up high enough.

                Yesterday, I went into the city with Christopher to catch the Magritte exhibition at SF MoMA and it seems everyone in the greater Bay Area had the same idea. The line was down to the end of the block and people were being admitted at a snail's pace - argh. Christopher had the right idea by suggesting we take a stroll around Yerba Buena and see if the line was going to thin out. Sure enough, after about 45 minutes, the line of nearly 100 was down to half a dozen. Of course, they were all lining up inside the damn museum - although it was a much shorter line.
                The exhibit seemed pretty substantial to me, but I don't know how much work Magritte produced during his life. All told there were about forty paintings, including the well known This is not a pipe and The Son of Man (which I still think 80% of the attendees only knew of thanks to the recent remake of The Thomas Crown Affair. Anyways, I enjoyed the exhibit, as it was very well organized. I must admit, I think I liked Magritte's earlier work - such as The Making of an Idol - to his later pieces. Magritte's later work seemed more accessible (ie, less baffling) than the earlier pieces, and I thought the very smooth brushwork of those later pieces was rather appealing... Aw, hell, as the awful saying goes, "I don't know art, but I know what I like!" (usually preceding the revelation of simply vile taste) - and I liked Magritte.
                We also did a dawdle around some other exhibits. My father found the collection of athletic shoes (1995 - 2000) amusing, but - while I could see the point made by the curator - it pretty much left me cold. Maybe I'm too much a form-over-function person, but the only thing I perceived - especially upon viewing a pair of Prada sneakers - was some rather nasty irony. Again, I don't know art...
                I was happy to lay eyes upon Elegy to the Spanish Republic - which I haven't seen since a trip to the Metropolitan in '89 or so. I had forgotten how striking it was. And I got a kick out of Warhol's National Velvet, too. However, as with so much modern art, you have to wonder who's putting on whom. This thought was particularly impossible to suppress while staring at a piece that was an eight-foot-by-five-foot (by one inch thick) sheet of burgundy plastic. Huh? I'm sure there was some deep meaning with the color, size, shape and the fact that it was shiny enough for the viewer to see their own reflection, but I'm damned if I know what that meaning was. That particular piece baffled me so deeply, I don't even remember the title or artist...
                Ah, nothing like a trip to the museum to leave one feeling really stupid. Fun, though.

                Christoper and I went back to his place and met Alex, who was bearing Indian food. After stuffing ourselves on various kinds of chicken (I guess we were all in a fowl mood, har har) we watched I'm Alright Jack, another installment in the Peter Sellers video-fest that my father was putting together. I'm Alright Jack is a satire on trade unions and union/management relations, made in early 60s, I'm guessing. Christopher tells me the movie had a helluva impact on popular perceptions of trade unions and industry relations - and I could see why. Decades later, popular parodies of unions and/or industry managers showed many signs of being direct descendents of that film. 'Twas quite uncanny, really...
                Alex enjoyed this one, which was good. Ladykillers apparently spooked him out a bit, so I didn't want him to have two bad experiences in a row - I like having his company during the viewfests.
                Tomorrow, maybe, we're going over to watch another movie - Two Way Stretch, I think...

                Gaming Musings
                Did a lot of Aragon downtime stuff today, not the least of which being dealing with one neonate's ill-thought idea to seek out the Sabbat. I can't say too much (oh, cool your jets, players, he didn't join the sect) but it was great fun to run, and the player said he enjoyed it. Meanwhile, several other players are scrambling to declare their actions before it's too late and, gosh, the airspace over Tosco refinery is going to be buzzing with aircraft...
                And I got a lovely idea for a corset-dress outfit for Game Five in October, but that's entirely irrelevant...

                Still not quite done with Dr. Watson's account of meeting Violet Adler, but I think I'll be able to take care of it tonight... Maybe all this time in the air has been good for my writers' block...

      ***

      September 4th

                So, how bloody hard can it be for two people to talk to each other? In this house, it's not as easy as it seems. Alright, so my habit for occasionally putting my foot in it doesn't help but, damn it, some things can't be said without being prickly.
                I've taken to fretting about Alex's job situation. It's unfortunate that Dave's bad turn of health took a big bite out of Alex's interview schedule last week (and tomorrow too) but, even that aside, he still hasn't got an offer. Oh, he's turned down a couple of obviously shitty jobs - customer support at an ISP, Excel monkey at a bank - and I'm not begrudging that. What worries is that if he's not starting work on/by the 15th of this month, we'll probably have to skip the pay period on the 1st and that means being bloody late with the rent - something that would go down like a lead balloon with our landlord.
                With luck, I'm fretting over nothing, but what's got me cheesed off at the moment is one of the recurrent problems between Alex and I. One of us says something that the other disagrees with and, rather than saying "Hey, I'm not with you on this.", we just say "Fine, then." and stomp off to quietly seethe. It might head off a lot of fights, but it doesn't get much said - or done.
                The particular instance I'm referring to was, as I say, my fault. But I was saying something I rather thought had to be said. I mentioned that sometimes I rather feel like I 'have to be the grown-up' when it comes to keeping track of money. Oh, I'm awful when it comes to remembering to pay the bills, but at least I remember the damn things, in the end. More to the point, I look down the road and think "Our expenses this month are probably going to be X and our income is likely to be Z, so what can we afford or not afford in the meantime?" Of course, I'm not exactly perfect (says she who can easily spend the grocery money at the bookstore) but I sometimes wonder if Alex thinks that way. Well, I as much admitted my doubt in our earlier conversation...
                Now, rather than telling me that perhaps I was being a bit harsh (ie, a catty bitch) and perhaps correct my misperception my husband just mutters "Fine" with an expression that most clearly indicates that it's not fine, and he stomps off to another part of the house. Bloody brilliant. As I say, this habit is mutual, and it's probably defused quite a few incipient fights but, at the moment, I'm sitting here with a sore head and sour stomach thinking "Damn, maybe we should talk this out." and he's seething in the living room. I can't perceive of any way to gently re-open the matter, without sounding like I'm nagging or trying to rub his nose in the matter. He, no doubt, is wondering when I'm going to get off my high-horse. Oh, being married is a hoot, I tell you.
                What really worries me is that this is all a tempest in a teapot compared to other recent trials. I suspect, actually, that this little blow-up wouldn't mean that much if it wasn't for the fact that Certain Other Matters really haven't been talked out, either. Following the unpleasant episode of Alex's would-be-journal entry (mentioned a few days back) neither of us have really had the nerve to bring the episode up. Certainly, apologies have been made by both sides about that incident, but the underlying stress (ie, Certain Other Matters) that provoked it still hasn't really been addressed. Well, not sufficiently for it to be laid to rest.
                I suppose neither of us want to bring it up, because it will necessitate the re-opening of wounds that have just started to heal. But - to stay on the hoary medical metaphor - there's a strong likelihood that there's still an infection beneath the surface, and we may have to tear the scab off before proper healing can begin.
                Well, it's not doing me any good to sit here and write about it. I think I had best go show this entry to the other concerned party before splatting it online.

                Okay, his head didn't explode and we've had a little chat about this incident in particular. Of course, he's been worried too, but he's trying to be a manly man and not let me know. Like that's going to keep me from worrying, independently, silly husband.

                Gaming Musings
                I finished A Meeting In London and posted it on Violet's page. Edwardiana for all my friends...

      ***

      September 8th

                Sorry for the lag but there's not been too much going on - well, nothing particularly cheerful, and who wants to read a week's worth of griping? I certainly don't when I flip through this document five years from now...
                But, yow! A short mocha and a big mug of tea can do a lot to forcibly cheer up a person! I'm practically dancing around my desk right now...

                Through circumstances too bloody annoying to detail, the Air Force has managed to screw up Alex's pay situation permanently - that whole 'silence equals consent' thing - so he has to start work on Monday. He's got one offer for a very dingy-blah job - no chace to cross-train to IT or anything. But it's an offer - and they're willing to let him put off an answer until Monday. Today he's interviewing at a place that is far more interesting and, supposedly, they will give him an answer immediately after the interview, or by the end of the day. Fingers crossed, kids!
                Dave, meanwhile, is still coping with being half-blind. Bless his folks, they're sending some money so we can take him to an optometrist and at least get him a pair of glasses so he can see well-enough out of his 'good' eye (the one that is 'only' short-sighted and slightly cataracted). Meanwhile, he's supposed to just wait for the ick to drain out from his bad eye - which could take months. Ugh. For the meantime, he has to cope with splitting headaches induced by blurry-eyed peering at things. Double ugh.

                As of 12:01AM September 7th, my husband was a civilian, yay! "That's MISTER Baker, to you!", he's happily telling everyone... He's at a bit of a loose end as to how to celebrate, but I'm sure something will come to him. I feel like I should have organized a surprise party, or some other celebration, but I'm utterly clueless about that kind of thing. As it is, I think we'll do a little celebrating tonight with the gaming crowd...

                Yesterday was a pleasant afternoon. After the weekly staff meeting, some co-workers - Matt, Kevin, Victor, Tracy - and asst'd musical friends to the first two chaps listed (members of Bruno, I think) all got together and had a jam-session. There were enough instruments for a band twice the size - asst'd fiddles, mandolins, various drums, flutes, a squeezebox and (I think) Irish bagpipes - and the theme was various European country tunes. I eat this stuff up - as my co-workers have discovered by the fact that I show up to whatever performances they put on inside/nearby the office - so I had a grand time. 
                The musicians set up on the vacant 14th floor, helped finish off the beer from the staff meeting and generally were a bit silly. At one point, the players discovered the fabulous acoustics garnered by playing in a marble-lined elevator lobby - yowza! Myself and Martia (galpal to Kevin) sat in the middle of the assemblage, and it was something else! Particularly once Matt picked up that bloody great drum of his... It was some point after this that the security guard came up from the lobby, wondering what all the hullabaloo was. Heh.
                I'm a sucker for live music - particularly anything that's 'unplugged' and historical. I've always admired anyone who can play an instrument as, even after years of mandatory lessons at school, music is still so many dots on a page to me. Hearing English morris tunes - or whatever the heck they were - also made me regret my lack of dancing ability. Or maybe that was the three beers I had had by that point. Whatever...
                I stuck around until seven o'clock when I realized that if I stayed any later, either Alex would get upset, or I would end up very, very drunk. I was happily buzzing at that point and decided it was best if I quietly withdrew. It wouldn't have been so vexing if there were a few more Modemmites there to cheer the musicians on, but the audience was precisely two - Martia and myself. Well, a couple of others stopped by, but they didn't stay. Philistines...
                And if Kevin isn't a nice enough chap already - he is, as a matter of fact, a very nice fella - he's given me two comp passes to Faire, so Alex and I can go this weekend as planned, without having to sweat the $17.50 admission fee. Ain't that nice of him? I shall have to do something nice in return... Maybe I'll bake some cookies this weekend or something.

                If I don't sew something soon, I'm gonna go bananas. Alex has promised that if he gets an offer today, we'll take my sewing machine to the shop this week and get it fixed - and buy more storage space so we can clear out the box-room and make it a craft-area. That would be an utter, utter relief. Never mind the fact that my buddy Brian (aka Majik) might be visiting in November and we'll need a place to put him up.

                Final note: I do not want to talk about the Yahoo Webring merger. It's such a bloody mess and their new interface sucks such big rocks, I think I'll quit webrings all together...

                Gaming Musings
                Alex is supposed to run Star Wars tonight, but I think it's going to be shoved aside in favor of quiet celebration of his civilian status. No biggie.
                Meanwhile, everyone seems very eager for Dave's Pulp campaign, but I'm also looking forward to the next installment of his re-booted 7th Sea game. The last installment got a bit too doom-and-gloom for the venue, so Dave restarted the game with the hopes that, since we're all in better moods than we were two months ago, we'll be able to approach the game with the correct attitude.

                The next Aragon game is a week away, so I'm dealing with all the last-minute downtime scrambling. Matters weren't helped when the XP database ate itself (memo: must e-mail the designer of Grapevine about that bug). Players are clueing in to some plot lines we have had building for a while - finally! I'm handling most of the downtime e-mails because I love pulling weird details out of my ear and Dave can't really do it because he's unable to use the computer.
                The pace is pretty frenetic right now, as we're scrambling to fit about 8 weeks of downtime into the next five days. In response to some player opinons, we've decided to stamp on the gas, rather than have the slow building of tension that we had anticipated over the next two months. I'm sure it's for the best, although I'm a little grumpy that these sterling-quality players have proven to have attention spans as low as their inferior counterparts.
                Yeah, that was snotty, what's your point? I'm a snotty GM, cope. :)

      ***

      September 11th

                Jennifer update. She has a fractured fibula (shin) up by her left knee. Ouchy and inconvenient, but potentially better than some alternatives. She's at home for the next few days and probably going nuts with being cooped up. If you're a friend, drop her a line - or offer to visit...
                Alex and I dropped Jenn's car at her place yesterday afternoon. On the way down, we realized that, should we be relegated to crutches for any length of time, we would be doomed. Our house is far too much the death-trap of teetering piles of paper and floor obstacles (pets, roommates, etc) for us to safely navigate around on anything other than a nimble pair of feet.
                I tell ya, I'm feeling very paranoid. Alex's kidneys, Dave's eye, Jenn's leg...I really hope I'm not due to contract beri-beri or something.

                Today's bizarre metaphor courtesy of Alex. Upon describing Dave's expression when Alex knocked on his door this morning to point out that Dave had slept through his alarm: "He looked like the Pope had just given him up to the Nazis...".
                That's what we get for watching Raiders of the Lost Ark late at night. We had to, to counteract some truly frightening color footage of Nazi escapades which was shown during some documentary on Atlantis - of all things. Nothing like a bizarre SS parade - swastika-bearing knights in full medieval armor, on horseback - in glorious Technicolor to bring home the fact that not only were the Nazis totally evil, but they were entirely lacking in taste, also...

                Gaming Musings
                Working on the Aragon game for this Saturday. As usual. As it has been before, so shall it be in the future, now and forever...
                Sorry. Let's just say I'm glad we've got a six week break coming up after this one. I wouldn't feel so frustrated if I didn't feel like half the playership just quit talking to me...

                Meanwhile, two of my favorite little darlings, Yvette and Paul are acting up. They spent most of yesterday suggesting entirely untenable story ideas - ranging merely chronologically-inconvenient to worringly pornographic. This probably says something about my subconscious - but I don't to know what.
                Thinking of my subconscious and my favorite bratty vampires, Alex passed on an amusing/worrying fact, late last night. Apparently, when I'm eyebrows-deep in a bit of character writing, I'll talk in my sleep - in character, no less. Alex swears up-hill and down-dale that, while I was working on a Paul/Yvette piece that was giving me grief a few months ago, I woke up in the middle of the night, stared at Alex with a totally vacant expression on my face, said "Don't make me punish you, Yvette." and wandered off into the kitchen for a snack, still muttering. In the morning, I woke up declaring "Yay! I've worked out that plot-point I was having trouble with!". I have no memory of this midnight-incident.
                And Alex says that wasn't the first or last time. He's heard me recite an entire passage that later turned up in Unplugged and half a dozen other snippets of character conversation. Bloody hell. I've heard about getting into one's projects, but isn't this a bit much?
                Then again, maybe I should start tape recording myself at night. Who knows what kind of ideas I'm missing?

      ***

      September 13th

                Yet another no-brainer week, so far. It's getting vexing - my weeks are too dull to write about, and my weekends are too busy!
                Alex is still looking for a job. It looks like 9th House have blown him off, which is a rea shame, as he really wanted that job.
                Speaking of jobs, I'll be meeting with Rick again tomorrow. Rick is the fellow of the 'could be interesting, could be a short cut to unemployment' job. I'm not going to learn any more about my future at MM until next week, so I don't see any harm in talking to Rick at lunch, tomorrow. And, after our staff meeting in the afternoon, the womenfolk of engineering are out for a drink-up to a curiously named local bar - Who's Your Daddy. It should be fun.

                Gaming Musings
                Getting a little vexed with Aragon. I'm hoping it's just stress, but I feel like I need a dramatic renewal of purpose. When I ran Diablo's Children, I felt like all I heard were complaints - they certainly were in the majority. As always, when people are having a good time, they assume you know, but disgruntled gamers want to tell you all about it. Aragon has been somewhat different. Instead of hearing complaints, we're hearing next to nothing.
                Alex, Dave and I did a little brainstorming and discussion about this - all the more needed since our survey results came in. We've decided to seriously downgrade the importance of downtime and scale the chronicle back to a monthly event with minimal continuity in-between. When it came to downtime events, the same core of 3 - 4 players have been responding (out of 16). That's not a worthy return on the investment, given that I easily spend an hour per night tracking downtime, crafting ideas and sending e-mails - all for the benefit of a quarter of the group. By sheer apathy, the masses have spoken.
                I had such high aims for Aragon, I should have realized that I was setting myself up for disappointment, no matter how well the game goes. I suspect it is going fairly well - we're just not hearing about it from the players. Still, the disappointment, no matter how justified, is a little saddening and quite disheartening.
                I suppose I'll feel better after Saturday's game. :P
                Meanwhile, Alex and I are back to thinking about Cthulhu Live games. We really must get a hold of Kirk and Lisa. We haven't even spoken to them since Halloween and I feel like an absolute heel about that...

      ***

      September 14th

                Met with Rick again, today. Rick is the chap of the 'could be interesting, could be a short-cut to unemployment' office manager/majordoma job in the Sunset. More to the point, I met his partner, Chris (I think). Between the pair of them, they gave me a bit more of their history with the business and the fact that Chris founded, ran and later sold (at an obscene profit, one hopes) a semi-conductor company that was nearly a thousand strong when he left, tells me that these chaps do have an inkling of what they're doing.
                So we met over lunch and chatted more about the perceived advantages and disadvantages of the job. Rick had even gone so far as to make a little list of plusses and minuses - with the plusses being far longer, of course. And, of course, the minuses weren't that big a deal - occasional long hours, not many people around. Essentially, they need a majordoma/den mommy/superadmin to help them find into a new space, crank up their PR machine, get a web presence and ensure they remember to eat a healthy lunch every day. A lot of different tasks, but in a much more personal environment than MM.
                Better yet, they've got a good attitude towards telecommuting (given that Chris lives in Phoenix, they have to be). Nor were they alarmed when I mentioned wanting to have a child - no sudden expressions of 'oh god, a pregnant coworker would be hell'. And, as I speculated the bonus situation is potentially obscene - although we haven't discussed salary, yet, beyond just what I'm getting now.
                I'm alternately really interested and really frightened by this opportunity. On the one hand, I really like the idea of trying to take all this on, and working for just a couple of guys. Aside from film crews and StarQuest, I've not worked for a small business before - never mind one that needs so much - and I think I would really enjoy the work and the guys seem like they would be fine to work with. On the other hand, I'm scared of taking on more than I can handle and really screwing things up for a coupla nice guys who don't deserve it.
                Just last night I had an awful dream whereby Curtis (one of my current bosses) scolded at me non-stop and told me very matter-of-factly that the half of the office that didn't think I'm a bonehead simply wanted to throttle me, instead. Ugh. Talk about your blatantly unsubtle cues from the subconcious... Hell, I already know I'm not going to get fabulous references from the guys here. It's hard to do a great job when you care more about the price of wheat than your office duties...*sigh*
                But it's still early days - kinda. Next week, I'm going to take a look at the current workspace for Intelligent Capital - as the company is known - and determine if the commute will be a pisser or not. Rick had told me 'inner Sunset' but Chris mentioned an ocean view from the house, so I'm inclined to think that somebody fibbed, just a little bit... Ah well, I've already told them that I want more than I'm currently earning to make up for the cost of the commute - telecommute or no.
                But I've got to admit, unless they offer me a laughable salary, I really think I might go with it. I've been getting 'any day now' from SuperDave about becoming his ass't for some time now and it's getting old. Admittedly, a lot of it isn't his fault (fighting cancer does take it out of your schedule, rather) but, as I say, it's been going on - off and on - for six months now.

                Been doodling out an idea for my next tattoo. I finally had some minor inspiration and I think I've got it down, I just have to find some sources for celtic renditions of serpents. I'm envisioning a circular celtic knot, only two strands, but thoroughly interwoven. Both strands will be serpents, each biting the other's tail. It's meant to be reminiscent of Ouroboros, you see... Well, if/when I get it done, you'll see. This is a scaled-down version of the idea I had for my back - but a spine-length tattoo would have been a) too ouchy and b) way too expensive for words....

                Gaming Musings
                Brainstormed for Aragon last night. Dave and Alex managed to put my fears to rest about having enough for the players to do. With the addition of one little plot point, I think we're going to be shaking things up nicely amongst the courtiers. We're really trying to insist that they make their own fun, rather than us spoon-feeding it to them - I just hope what we've got on Saturday will work.
                It's annoying, really, because the three of us are really looking forward to the next game, as we've already got many, many ducks in a row for that one. It's going to be a masked ball, complete with revelations, sneaky politicking, debauchery and all that cool stuff. So, of course, trying to get up enthusiasm for the upcoming game has been a little tough...
                Friday night Dave will be doing some preludes for his Pulp game. Since Jennifer can't make it, Dave doesn't want to start the game up yet, but he's willing to throw some crunchy bits to the other players. Incidentally, Jen has broken two bones in her leg - her tibia and her fibula, not her fibia as previously reported. Apparently she's renting a wheelchair so she'll be mobile at the Aragon game on Saturday...

      ***

      September 20th

                Yeah, yeah, I haven't written for nearly a week. It's been hot and I've been alternatively way too busy or way too tired to write.
                Today, it's going to be 'only' 95 degrees in Concord, which is a break from the 100+ it's been for the past few days. With luck, the temperature will keep going down and not come back up until, oh, June or so.

                I've not been able to continue my conversation with Rick and Chris because Rick has been knocked down by the 'flu. With luck, I'll be visiting his home office space tomorrow - and taking Alex with me. Otherwise it will have to wait until Friday. Extra-special luck will be required to squeeze an offer from the guys on the same day, but my fingers are crossed.
                Thanks are owed to the various friends and readers (readers? I have readers who aren't already my friends? Why, yes indeedy!) who sent me attagirl e-mails in the past few days. I'm 99% certain I'm going to be leaving MM as soon as possible - the clincher being that I'm already thinking of ICA as 'us' and MM as 'them' is a sign that my subconscious has already made its decision. But, as mentioned before, my subconscious often gets ideas long before it lets the rest of my brain into the loop.

                Alex, meanwhile is still jobless and our money situation has been munged by the fact that both of us paid the phone bill this morning - plus the nasty deposit to get it reconnected. Alex and I are particularly bent because there was no warning on the bill that we were close to losing service. Alex even called the customer service reps and demanded they point out just where on the bill such a warning would be. Once it was ascertained that there wasn't a warning of an impended cutoff, the pacbell dudes just shrugged it off as a typo and could we please hurry up with that $240 reconnection deposit? Yes, we both paid a reconnection deposit. I'm not kidding about the big credit with ma bell. Alex, naturally, didn't like being told that because they made a typo, we would have to pay the reconnect-fee and a shouting match ensued. Double sigh. Never mind the fact that the phone number to pay via ATM card is a toll number - thus meaning Alex had to hike over to the nearest payphone to use it...
                If money was coming in to the household, I would just shrug this all off with 'oh well, we'll have a big credit at Pacbell' but that can't be the case this time. Unfortunately, it's going to take the lovely phone people up to two weeks to get a check back to us. Sigh. Of course that's assuming we even get the promised refund. I wouldn't blame the utility pixies for sitting on our cash for as long as possible.
                But enough of my lovely domestic situation. On to...

                Gaming Musings
                Last week's Aragon game went really well. The humorous plotline featuring "Lord Absinthe" - a newly Embraced college student taking all his cues from the worst aspects of vampire media - went down very well, although perhaps we worked too hard on the ha-ha side of it and obliterated the more serious under-plot. Ah well, if the players miss it, there'll be another kick-in-the-butt coming in a few weeks.
                The crunchy bits went well, too. The players got a lot more out of the shattering of the recent days of peace than I expected, and no-one threatened to beat us for deciding that the fifty girl scouts that were in the hotel for a slumber party (in RL, no less) had decided to collectively jump from the hotel roof. What can I say? Some real-world factors are too good to pass up. And what Vampire GM can resist doing something with a troop of Girl Scouts?
                Better yet, we had a very productive post-game confab with the players. We did the usual Player Nominations for best roleplayer of the night, and then we went around the group and asked everyone for one thing that is or isn't working for them in the chronicle. The Trinity got some good answers from that - as well as a few much-needed ego-pats - and we've already plugged in the latest batch of player input into our computer-like brains.
                There's no need to tell anyone that the computer our brains resemble is actually a Timex Sinclair...
                We're already gearing up for Game Five. For one thing, the Trinity has to start seriously plotting again. We're at a point we didn't think we were going to be at until January, so we had pretty much sat back from crafting new plotlines. Now we've got to scramble and figure out where we want the game to go from here. Oh boy...
                And October 28th is to be a Masked Ball - to hail some new things that will be happening in the game. Unfortunately, I can't talk about 'em here as several players read this journal... Anyways, the Trinity wants to do a fancy-shmancy game with decorations, some high-end nibbles, etc and it seems that the players are with us for this one. Well, I've not heard any howls of outrage yet, and that's good enough for me. The crunch, of course, is money. We're just about breaking even at the moment, but getting good food and some fun decorations (and you never want to skimp on fun things like streamers and tinsel!) will add about $200 to the budget, and - see above - the Trinity can't afford that right now.
                So I've gotten shameless and sent out a begging letter to the playership. Like PBS facing a shortfall, I've put my hand out to the group and told them that if they want to see a fancy-pants game, they are going to have to provide cash up front. I love gamers dearly, but they're a forgetful bunch. If I ask them to pledge dollars to the game fund, and that I'll accept it on-site, I know all too well that I'm going to be faced by a bunch of players all saying "Oh, did we promise you twenty bucks? We forgot, sorry!" and leave me, Alex and Dave all eating ramen for the next month. Ugh.
                Still, if the players can come through, it should be a lot of fun. I love getting silly with games - as anyone who witnessed my cladding my living room with black butcher paper when my house was a nightclub for a vampire larp will attest - and since Aragon is my spoiled-child of a game, I would particularly like to get very silly with this one. It's such a shame the color scheme at the hotel is icky - pink and tan, sorta - and we can't shift the ugly art off the walls. Still, I'm gonna roll with it as best I can. I'm thinking burgundy and cream streamers, burgundy tablecloths, some enclosed (un-spillable) candle-lights and some good-quality nibbles... Oooh, petit-fours, yummmm....
                Yeah, I'm the queen of overdoing things. What's your point?

      ***

      September 22nd

                Last night, Alex and I had dinner with Rick and his wife, Maria. I take back everything I said about Rick seeming a little unfocused - he may appear that way only because he's apparently got half-a-dozen things on his mind. His house is a funky place near Forest Hill that used to be convent, oddly enough. It's painted half a dozen bright colors, which Rick shrugged off as "Oh, I got bored one weekend..." and the interior of the house shows every sign of extensive and meticulous decorating - home-made countertops, nifty paint jobs on the doors and molding, etc... The New-Yankee-Workshop-esque set up in the basement right next to the 100 megabit switch for the house network only further reinforced the impression that here was a couple of people with waaaaay more brains that me. But what else is new?
                If naught else, I think I can be confident that Rick will understand the occasional seizures of hobbycraft that I'm occasionally stricken by...
                Thinking more on it, I think I've found a latter-day version of my 'little brother' Stephen. Sure, Stephen has a darkroom set up next to his network server, but I get the same sense of quiet determination off the pair of 'em. But Stephen's cuter and more given to moments of zaniness...*phew*
                I didn't get an offer last night, but I've been promised one early next week. I think they're having to research just what the heck they should offer me for a salary - hint: lots!.

                Otherwise, things remain quiet. At the moment, I'm happily grooving to more-recent Smiths tunes - Girlfriend In A Coma and the like while looking for things to do at the office. I know a lot of hardcore Smiths fans deride Strangeways Here We Come as their worst album but, having listened through their entire collection, it still remains my favorite. The fact that it was the first Smiths album I picked up probably has something to do with that. How could I resist a line like "...there's somebody here who will take a hatchet to your ear - the frustration, it renders me hateful..." set to a rockabilly melody?

                Small achievements: I'm almost finished with The Mists of Avalon. I finally caved in and picked it up at the used-bookstore, not realizing it would take me almost three weeks to plough through it. Just because it's nearly 900 pages was no reason for me think that would slow me down but, oy, I forgot to allow for the fact that it was 900 large pages. And Bradley's prose isn't precisely dense, but it requires that one pay attention to it. I've been enjoying the book, although a definite detractor has been the fact that Marion Zimmer Bradley is obviously a contemporary to Mercedes Lackey and the manipulative chick-oriented school of fiction. Still, if you want a huge chunk of brain candy and wouldn't mind a new spin on Arthurian legends, it's probably worth your time.

      Thank heavens for alternative lifestyles! SuperDave has just reminded me what's coming up this weekend.

        "Every year, about 300,000 leatherfolk turn out for the Folsom Street Fair, a grand finale celebration of kinky love at the end of Leather Pride Week. This year the fair is Sept. 24, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., and it stretches from 7th to 12th Streets, along Harrison, Folsom, and Howard. Whether you love fetish gear, naughty spankings, public demonstrations of safe BDSM techniques, or simply dressing up sexy, the Folsom Street Fair has something for you. Vendors from all over the country come to promote their nonprofits, sell handcrafted floggers and cages, and mingle with a sex-positive crowd. Remember, everything goes as long as it's consensual!"

                Heh. Who wants to go? I'm not gonna go alone, darnit... Never mind the fact that everything I own is PVC, not leather. Still, it's close enough for government work. The weather is always the trickiest thing to allow for at these things. Last year it was over a hundred degrees - in San Francisco! - and the poor leatherboys nearly died of heat prostration. Today it's gloomy and raining, but there's no guarantee that it's going to last - nor would I want to rain on the fair.
                It would be a change from Renaissance Faire...

                Gaming Musings
                Alex is running his Star Wars game tonight, which surprises me. I thought he had decided to hold off until after Jennifer regained her mobility. I admit, I kinda wonder how the group is going to act without her presence. Her character usually manages to ground mine - the fluffhead - pretty well, although I don't think she ranks as highly in the other PCs worldview. Ah well, I guess we'll see how it goes. After such a long break, I'm having a tough time getting my enthusiasm up, but I suppose that will change once we get going.

      ***

      September 23rd

                2:13AM
                I sometimes wonder what kind of first impression my house would give to a complete stranger. Wait, let me amend that. I sometimes wonder what kind of impression my house, when it's clean, would give to a complete stranger.
                After about six hours of solid effort on mine and Alex's part today, we managed to empty out about nine boxes from the infamous 'box room' (only thirty more to go) and reduce the computer room from an nigh-un-navigable mess to three small boxes of stuff - and six garbage bags of crud out on the porch. Who says hard work doesn't pay off?
                Anyways, first impressions... Upon walking in the front door, one would see our TV, flanked by a built-into-the-cabinet stack of CDs, and three five-foot-high shelves of DVDs and videotapes. Here are some people who, despite protestations otherwise, like their moving media... Pan left across the kitchen entrance - one sewing project and a collectible card game being catalogued on the kitchen table - to the mantelpiece. The fireplace has cobwebs in it, but the books up top are pristine and dust free. Let' see...Arthur C. Clarke first editions, ditto for Heinlein...a framed copy of The King In Yellow and a plaster replica of the human skull being used as a bookend. Don't skip over the gargoyle next to him, he gets sulky when he's feeling ignored.
                The coffee table reveals another CCG being inventoried, several cookbooks and the latest AD&D release, stacked right up next to the Penguin history of medieval Europe and a how-to book on embroidery and a Captain Kirk Christmas-tree ornament.
                Yeah, we're eclectic. If only we could keep the house tidy all the damn time. Otherwise, all you could tell about us is that we're slobs. 

                As you might guess from the late entry time, I've been a little decadent this evening. After spending the entire day cleaning up - it might not seem like much to you, dear reader, but getting the dam' computer room tidied is a major achievement, and it only took abject poverty and frustration to motivate me - Alex and I spent the evening sorting our respective card-collections, watching movies (The Hunt for Red October, a house favorite) and, for my part, sewing. I have a pattern that I'm roughing out that I can do by hand - it's a corset and I want to get the hang of setting a busk.
                Without really paying attention to the time, I had knocked back a bottle of old-ish champagne along with/shortly after dinner (no, I didn't sew myself into the corset) while Alex made serious headway into a bottle of port he's had lurking on the countertop for a while. Following our nightly Olympics dose - once every four years, I become an athletics-whore, and not just because of all those tightbodies in track-and-field, although they don't hurt - we slapped on the aforementioned movie and it was 2AM before we knew it. Ah, domestic bliss.
                And now I must go to bed before I lose sight of the keyboard entirely. I can only hope that tomorrow is as pleasant as today.

      ***

      September 25th

                So, Sunday, I paid the price for Saturday's frivolity. Actually, I'm not sure if the late-night-drinkup had much to do with it, but I wouldn't be surprised.
                I woke up a little tired and headachy - that I expected. I just took it as penance for the silliness of the night before and tried to go about my day. By 7PM, however, after a three-hour nap and some assorted nastiness, it became apparent that this was not an ordinary hangover. The grandma of all migraines had decided to come visit, and she brought along some nasty menstrual cramps in case she got lonely. Ack.
                I always thought the wet-teatowel-on-the-eyes routine was an old wives' tale. I mean, how much good can it do for a thumping headache? Answer: lots. My head was hurting so badly, I clutched at any straw while wondering which of my possessions I could hock to buy some advil. And the trick worked. It didn't lessen the pain, but it did make things more bearable.
                Fortunately, Alex still had some of his vicodin which I finally caved in and took. Half a pill didn't cut it and I took the second half about an hour later. Whoa... Vicodin is nifty stuff. It didn't kill all the pain, but it stuffed Grandma into the attic and told the cramps to take a hike so I could actually get to sleep. Although I thought the drugs would knock me out, but I slept pretty poorly all night. I kept waking up, bah.
                So I took Monday off work. I was still feeling a little loopy - whether from the migraine, the drugs or 14 hours of sleep (eventually) I couldn't tell, but it didn't really matter.
                Worse yet, I know that migraines can get a lot worse than that... Sure, my head was killing me and light was like pouring hot water into my eyeballs, but at least I was only nauseous, rather than throwing up. Every time I get hit with a bad headache, I try to count my blessings. Well, in between cursing my existence and generally being bitchy, I try to count my blessings.

                Alex had his second round interview at Imagelock today. He's pretty confident he's going to get an offer from them tomorrow or Wednesday, although he's not too keen on the hours - 8 to 5. But at least that means he's guaranteed time for lunch. The commute with him should be rather interesting, particularly if I leave MM for Intelligent Capital... No crime in being early, I guess. ;)
                And, glory be, Alex's unemployment check should be coming in just as rent is due, so maybe we won't have to sell Dave to make what's due. Of course, it's not like we could get much for Dave on the slavery market. He would take a lot of upkeep. Heh.

                I've been undergoing an interesting correspondence with a chap down in Los Angeles, Josh Oreck. Apparently he was on the crew for the behind-the-scenes documentary on the making of The Matrix for HBO, and now he's looking to make a short piece on the fandom that has evolved around the film. Judging by his e-mails, he's not got a buyer for the piece, yet, but he's confident enough to be planning footage shot in LA, Toronto, New York and here. He wants to interview a broad range of Matrix fans - from the rabid I-named-my-child-Neo fans to the more laid back fanfic writers - which is apparently where I'm going to come in (and anyone else I can lay my hands on that Josh might want to meet).
                Being interviewed for anything is on my 'Good ideas for a lark' list so I don't see why I shouldn't help the lad. And if the interview doesn't end up the cutting-room floor, well, that'll be something to boast about at my next class reunion. Oh gods spare me if that's all I can boast about at my next reunion.
                Actually, after much agonizing, I don't think I'm going to go to my 10 year reunion for my high school class. Judging by the guest list, the only people who might go, that I would want to see, are people I can see easily outside of the reunion and as for the rest of them... I avoided them like the plague while I was at school, why should I drop several hundred dollars and several days of my time to go see them again? The money can be better spent elsewhere, really.

                Gaming Musings
                Random pretty thing. Since I'm telling the Aragon players they've got to have masks, and all...
                I'm working on getting some more players into the game and we've got at least 3 in the pipeline, including Chris Hockabout who's a perennial buddy of mine who I don't see nearly often enough. He's one of the chaps behind Secret of Kear'en (sp?) which is a kick-ass science-fantasy rpg which will be published any day now... Anyways, he's a smart guy and passing curious about Vampire, so I would love to see him in the group.
                Meanwhile, since Melissa is going to be loaning me her sewing machine, I'm going nuts making plans as for what to wear for the next Aragon game. I love overdressing. I'm pretty confident I can put a corset together in time - and I'm contemplating tinkering with the design to attach a skirt, but that really depends upon the bustline of the corset and how likely I am to fall out if it (a constant worry for us full-figured types). Meanwhile, I'm also hoping to finally make Alex's szur - a Hungarian-style overcoat that would really flatter his figure - in time for the game. If we can afford it, we might even rent a tux for him, so he can look super smart.
                Plots for the game? Oh yeah, I'll get to that soon enough. Heh.

      ***

      September 27th

      "I don't know where I would be without my daily hairy eyeball" - Willow (obligatory Buffy quote)

                Alex has a job!! He starts on Monday, yay! He's going to have to do some AA/reception type work for the first three months, but then he moves to IT to support that department and almost immediately start cross training to be deskstop support. Now if only he didn't have to haul ass to Pier 23 to get to the office. Ah well...

                Okay, get this...
                Melissa brings over the sewing machine last night. It belonged to Joanne, actually, and has for a long time - since before Alex went into the military kinda long time. Despite all that, it works fine, following a tune up, and I have no trouble getting acquainted with it. The fact that it feels like it was made out of cast iron was only a momentary setback (heave!). One minor snag - I can't find the right lever/button/whatever to wind bobbins for the machine. Ah well, no biggie, I can use my broken machine to wind bobbins, no problem. So I haul out my poor battered darling and quickly wind a bobbin for the loaner. Just because her tension was gone didn't mean she couldn't be of some use, and getting a wound bobbin is pretty dam' essential...
                Well, since I had the machine out, I thought I might as well run a bit of scrap fabric through it and take another look at the tension problem - y'know, reassess how bad it was. Brapadabrapadabrapada... The scrap comes out looking just fine. Hm, must be a fluke, I think. If I run some more fabric through it, it'll probably fall apart - that's what happened last time. So I sew a longer piece of scrap. It's still okay. I pull out my current project - a mock-up of a Victorian corset - and sew a few bits of that.
                Upshot: I'm out of practice when it comes to sewing a straight line (sigh) but the bloody machine is fine. Just fine. No tension problems, no misfeeds, nothing. It's a little upset at the crappy thread I ran through it but, hell, I wasn't expecting it to work, darnit. ARGH! How long have things been like this? I've let this machine sit fallow for a year and a half, believing it to be beyond my repair (and constantly too broke and/or forgetful to take it to the shop). Alex is theorizing that whatever spring I stretched out has finally gotten back into place - I blew the tension by running a four-layer seam of brocade and suede, you see... Frankly, I have no idea what's happened, nor how long it will last, but I'm happy to have my baby back. If I wasn't going to Susan's place for dinner tonight, I would be getting reacquainted with my machine. I guess I know what I'm doing this weekend!

                Thinking of getting reacquainted, the Buffy and Angel season openers were last night. They were both a bit shaky, in my opinion, and I guess Whedon's trying to challenge himself by opening the season with Buffy vs. Dracula... Regardless, I enjoyed 'em enough to decide to keep watching the show.
                I also picked my lazy ass up and updated Seraphim, my Angel fansite. Now that I've got the laptop (aka 'The Great Old One') writing show summaries and critiques will be loads easier. Maybe I can keep up with it, this time - and catch up with season one during re-runs. I really did enjoy writing the episode critiques - my desperate attempt to keep my film-brain from rusting entirely shut - but transcribing pages and pages of handwritten notes taken during the show became a real chore, real fast. Now it might not be so aggravating.
                Must run, work is calling - and has been for some time. ;)

      ***

      September 29th

                The sewing is going very well, although I spoke too soon about my machine's miraculous self-healing. After about four seams, the tension went all screwy again. However, I'm more optimistic than before about getting it fixed. Meanwhile the cast iron beast is working quite well. It's not a fancy machine - it can go forwards, backwards and vary the stitch size, and that's it - but straight stitches are all I need right now, so it does the job fine. It's surprisingly quiet, too - quieter than my usual machine, I think.
                So, I finished the first part of my mock-corset last night, which meant I was able to try a fitting. It's a little long, but otherwise it fits pretty well. I'll know better once I get the lining in and put the steel boning in. Although I didn't realize I was going to have to get spring steel for the boning channels by the bust-line. Grr. We're poor, still, but maybe I can convince myself to justify stopping by Lacis next week for five dollars' worth of materials. I really wanted the try-out corset to be 'fully functional', as it were, so I could get the hang of putting all the elements together before I start cutting up any of my $15/yard fabric for a finished item.

                Despite the fact that it's payday, I'm still broke. The rent is $1375 and the total income for this pay period is $1700. That includes shaking Dave down for every penny he's got, which I'm not going to do - the guy's gotta have his insulin y'know. So the math ain't so hot. Fortunately, James and Laurel are a bit flush right now - the joys of having a parent with a trust fund and a soft heart - so they've offered to loan us some cash to keep us fed until mid-month. I'm only taking the loan because I know that at mid-month all three residents of Miskatonic will be bringing in a paycheck - a first! - and Alex's extremely-late-but-we'll-still-take-it unemployment check should be coming it. It seems that the state has decided that he can live on $250 a week, which is ludicrous, but the money he's owed for Sept. 7th through the 1st will pay back James and Laurel immediately and leave us a little left over - which will no doubt be blown on the next Aragon game. Yeah, we're irresponsible. If we were responsible, we wouldn't be in the bind we're in right now!
                The annoying thing is that I'm utterly responsible for at least half the cash-crunches we get into - a shopping philosophy of "Ooh! Shiny! Must have!" does not make for a healthy savings account - but I still get massively cranky and mean whenever we're short of money. Believe it or don't, I'm actually a reasonably even-tempered person (or if I do get pissed, I do my fuming in private) but at the slightest hint of coming up short at the end of the month, I turn into my evil twin, Bitchy Lass. I'll snap at Alex and Dave, make dark mutterings about money-wasting and am otherwise an utter pain in the ass. Totally hypocritical and every time it happens, I swear it'll be the last time. It never is, though. *Sigh*.

                Ugh, the creeping crud is making the rounds of the office and I've been fighting it off all week. I think I'm starting to lose the fight, though. Damn. I don't want to breathe germs on everyone at the Star Wars game.

                Oh yeah, happy new year to those who observe it today.

                I'm still waiting on my offer from Rick. He's promised it by noon today. I would have received it already, but his network crashed yesterday - y'know, the one in his woodshop - but he's assuring me I'll get something by lunchtime. I hope so. I would like to be able to put in my notice today, if possible. *Crossed fingers*

                If I get any good news, I'll put in a flash at the bottom of today's entry. ;)

      ***

      September 30th

                So, I got my offer yesterday and, once a couple of small items regarding reviews and sick-time are added, I'm going to take it. IC is offering me $10K more per year, although they're strangely stingy on vacation - six days per year for the first year, but I get the week between Christmas and New Year's off, so it sorta evens out. Anyways, even with the cost of the extra commute, the increase in salary offsets that - and the cost of the aggravation. Also, since I won't be sinking money into my Employee Stock Purchase plan any more (let's see, last quarter I bought at $8 and the stock is currently worth $4, fucking brilliant) I'll be bringing home about $600 more per month - at least until I get a mutual fund set up to act as a replacement for my 401K.
                So, I'm putting in my notice on Monday, with the 6th being my last day at MM. I feel pretty gloomy about leaving all the groovy people - and there are still a few left at the place - but I lost what little incentive I had to do a decent job at this place about four months ago. I actually feel a little bad that it's taken me so long to find another opportunity as the sooner I get out of MM, the sooner they can find someone who could do the job far better than me. I hate to say it, but they need someone with the same skill set, but who isn't quite as bright - or, at least - has fewer distracting hobbies that can be performed at a computer (writing, HTML, etc)...
                Out of curiosity, I hit a few office realty sites, looking at the costs of commercial property in SF, as finding office space for IC is my first project. Yowza! I knew it was pricey but my word! Admittedly, I was seeing listings for SoMA and financial district but still... I found a space that - location and size-wise - would be perfect (the trick is finding a place small enough for IC) and the monthly rent would have been $26,000! What kind of business can generate that kind of revenue out of six hundred square feet? Wait, I probably don't want to know the answer to that question.
                I know the guys want to keep the business in San Francisco but, at this rate, we'll have to go down to San Mateo to find anything affordable - ow. Maybe the Mission District... My little fantasy about this situation is that we find some funky Victorian house near the Castro that's been converted for office-use, and we'll share it with some unbelievably hip and fun-loving business. That would be utterly keen. But, reality states that we're probably going to end up down in Daly City (ugh) or, if we want to lay down some serious capital for improvements, out by Pier 23, where a lot of startup space seems to be going. I wouldn't mind that, as Alex will be working by Pier 23...

                Just read The Edge of Reason - the follow-up to Bridget Jones' Diary. I really enjoyed it - more so that I enjoyed the first book, I think - although maybe that's the Smug Married in me speaking. Whatever, I say check it out, although it's definately a chick-book.

       


                Written yesterday, too late for publication

                Sigh. I'm such a jealous whatsit. And what's worse, I'm jealous of my friends, but not so much as to get motivated enough of my ass and do well myself.
                What am I talking about? I sometimes wish I could be, y'know, really good at something. Better than my peers, at least. Alright, it's not a nice thing to say, but at least I can admit that, so far, I've failed in that goal, anyways.
                Jennifer's a better writer, Laurel is a better seamstress, Alex can design better HTML and graphics, and Dave just landed himself a new contract as line-editor with a gaming company - with a possibility of some free-lance development work later down the road. My film-making skills have rusted shut, and that about ends the list.
                I would boast about my cooking, but Susan kicks my ass in that department.
                And boasting about one's bedroom skills is beyond gauche - and hard to quantify, to boot.
                Ah well. I suppose I can't be that fretted about it, otherwise I really would get off my ass and hone one of my few talents to a sharper point.
                Jealousy is such a nasty time-waster. We would all be better off without it. Well, I would. Then I wouldn't be too fretted about my mediocrity. I'm sure envy served a massively useful purpose in the past, when evolution and survival was a very personal matter for everyone but now... Now I'm just getting silly. Back to work...

                Gaming Musings
                Alex ran his Star Wars game last night, and I'm starting to wonder how much use Dora is going to be. Admittedly, I was pretty tired last night and just not feeling very inclined to game, but I made precisely zero contribution to the game. I may as well have gone along with Alex's suggestion that I sit the evening out (I was thinking about it) and let Alex run my character. All she did was her happy-bimbo act to a couple of entirely negligent NPCs and start training in a new combat skill (zenji needles, nifty things).
                With luck, it was just an off night, but I dunno. I knew there was a risk involved in playing an idiot-savant bimbo...

                This weekend, we're going to be resolving downtime for the Aragon players and putting together the newsletter. I've been taking the week off from the game, as I really knocked myself out getting ready for Game Four, and I feel a lot less burned out than I did a few days ago - whew!

      August '00        Index        October '00