One of my darlings - Paul Viersan, a character who has lurked in my head in one guise or another since about 1985 - had a rather unpleasant surprise the other day. I was reading through some of my older RPG fic - it's a way of keeping oneself humble - and ended up jotting down the following in the throes of a tiny little wave of sartori...
"On the contrary, you were most definitely yourself. But, I admired you, even then." (source)
Admired her? Was that really the proper word? Why did I have to hide from a woman who was all but Bound to me?
All I get from you is bitterness and resentment for my attention (as above)
My god. Is that why she has so always commanded it – my attention? Not control, not the satisfaction of manipulation but some childish “Look at me!” sentiment? Look at me, Yvette, I’ve saved your life. Look at me, Rachel, I’ve covered for your ungrateful masters and pointless mission half a dozen times. Look, Yvette, I took you in at your most vulnerable." Children only crave the attention of those they love.
Has she really been in control this entire time? Unknowing, but always drawing me to her?
I’ve been a fool. An absolute fool.
What do I do now?
Poor ol' Paul. He had always been the wicked-for-its-own-sake bad guy, controlling and manipulating people for the sheer pleasure that the exertion of power caused. And then this comes along. I'm going to noodle on it further, as it's certainly going to have an impact on any future writing I do for Paul and Yvette.
I know this much, Paul is relieved that he's Unbondable (yeah, yeah, I cheezed his character stats a while back) because whilst he might be able to face the fact that he's not been the Master Manipulator that he envisioned himself to be, he's not going to relinquish whatever control he's got left to Yvette once she is Embraced - and the Embrace will happen...eventually.
Meanwhile, on a lighter note, my mad ongoing crush on Clive Owen has got my feverish imagination now toying with a Yvette/Bourne Identity-ish crossover - but I think that is going to stay strictly unwritten. It's just too silly. However, the train of thought that led me there did make me realize that I've got a Big Phat Loose End with the character (namely her 30+ year association with various intel bureaus) that has to be addressed and, in fact, could provide fodder for a fun little story, particularly as Yvette in her current mode has no memory whatsoever of that association. The strain that such an encounter with, say, her old pal Simon at MI6 could put on the memory-scrub that Paul has put in place could be highly entertaining. Well, it'll entertain me, and I'm just about the only person who reads those tales, anyways. ;)